when i was young i thought lesson can only be learned from schools, books we read, lessons taught by our teachers or professors. never in my young mind realized that life it self is full of lesson. that one’s life journey can teach us a lot that never in our entire schooldays was taught.
i also believed that going to the best school can teach us a lot in building our better future. partially they may help us but not entirely. the main lesson is never learned from them. as we go along to our everyday journey and meeting new people making things on our own as human facing failures and success i’ve realized that life it self and experienced as well are the best teacher in life.
as i moved along to my life’s journey, i’ve never thought that i can be tough and brave to face the challenge of everyday life’s struggles. people often admires me for being so brave and tough, for being wind beneath their wings, for being life saver when they are drowning, for being there whenever they needs me, but behind all those facade lays a very fragile, vulnerable, emotional personality that needs someone to hold when feeling down. someone to call my own. but life’s journey is not always the way we want it to be. sometimes your up but then without noticing your on your downfall. sometimes life is so unfair, but still life is something we need to look forward too. coz at the end of each daya brand new journey is waiting ahead of us. someday, somehow our journey will end and someone is waiting for us to return.
sounds like a book? yes it’s a book tittle and it’s really a best selling one. i can associate this book with my life. before i used to live my life meaningless. what do i mean by meaningless? when i wake up every morning i’ll do the old routine take a bath, brush my teeth, luckily if ill eat breakfast, dress up, and go to school before now work. until finally i felt i am bored with my life. i lived to eat, work, have fun, enjoy the fruits of my harbor & sleep. no more no less. i know God my entire life but i don’t know my purpose in life. until finally i’ve come into my senses that i am a dirty rug without sense in front of God if i’ll continue this rotten routine of mine. and then i found my purpose, God wants to use me as ambassador of His words. and i became a sunday school superintendent i perform my task but i failed God. i did not finished what i’ve started. i still continue my rotten ways and God took away the ministry that He entrusted me. i keep on asking Him so many favors that later on i realized are on the waiting list. asking Him the favor of a better job, i tried ibm but my schedule for interview was always having troubles like i did not answered the phone, i have deadlines or client meeting. i asked Him to grant my visa to work abroad with my brother & mother but again i was denied. i felt terrible until the admin pastor of my new church told me that i still have 1 year to serve God before i’ll leave the philippines. it made my mind turn around maybe God really wants me to finished what i’ve started. now i try to give my best for Him. i serve Him more diligently & generously. and things started to change with my life. i found my sense of purpose again. now i can say that i let God used me in many ways. and i am now happy with my life coz i found my purpose.
we all have a purpose, so start finding yours before it gets to late. God is waiting for you.
lately i am addicted into something but definitely not drugs, gambling, sex or anything that is bad. i know my best friend told me that i am ”bakya” lately but honestly speaking i really appreciate those things sort of “bakya & baduy” for others but for me its cool. before i used to listen to the music of mariah, backstreet, west life, etc., etc. but those were the days. lately my kind of music is bossa nova, toni gonzaga, piolo, sitti, kris aquino, apo & new addition to that is the new comer’s ymagesa. sounds strange, but its true. is it a sign of old age??????? i don’t think so maybe my youthful years are over and i am advancing into something different. i hate loud noise but i still listen to the music of jojo i like her beautiful girl, nelly and some rnb but not as often like the mentioned music. but i salute those guys they may not be an international artist but i believed with their talents, two thumbs up to all of you. and to my new fave ymagesa Godspeed guys.
this two words is one of the most difficult words to say. why? thank you, sorry, i love you are simple words that we seldom use. in a day how many times did you used this words? once, twice? but its never to late to say thank you for all those people who contributed something in your life and i’ll use this opportunity before my curtains falls down and becomes too late. i would like to thank…….
GOD for giving me a life full of trials & pains. coz if He don’t i can’t do this blog. thank you Lord for saving me from “eternal fire”, for giving me “eternal life”, and a life that is full of blessings.
PARENTS for giving me life. even though we have our own world and life right now i still owe you who i am and where i am now. for trying your best to give me a better life and for sacrificing everything for us. and loving me without condition.
SIBLINGS for being there. for supporting me, even we always have arguments & mis communications you still accept me in spite of my mistakes & imperfection.
GAL for making me laugh and making me a responsible person. for playing with me and bring out the child in me.
FRIENDS for cheering me up when i am down & troubled. for chatting with me even in the middle of the night. for accepting me as me and for loving me like a sister. for making me ME.
and last but not the least……
SASSYGEEKCHICK for being my best friend since our diaper days, for crying with me, correcting my mistakes, bringing out the best in me, staying late listening to my stories of love, hate & miseries, and for being my shoulder to cry on and ears who willingly listened.
TO ALL OF YOU WHO MADE ME WHAT & WHO I AM RIGHT NOW.
its so funny that i am writing about the art of letting go, for a fact that i don’t know how to let go of my feelings & what’s inside of me. my best friend send me a song ” the art of letting go” by mikaila that it really touches my heart & teaches me to learn step by step the art of letting go. as the lyrics say, ” try to say it’s over, say the word goodbye.” in my life there are so many unfinished business and unfinished relationships that really need a closure. until i never find the right answers for all those unfinished business i can’t learn to let go. one of this is my guilt feelings about what happened on the night before my grandmother died, even for a fact that i did not do anything to her but at the back of my head my brain is screaming that “i did it”. i know for a fact that she’s with the Lord but i can’t stop my self from being guilty. second is why all of my “ex” left me without a closure they come and go with out saying a word. they always left me hanging. asking myself what’s wrong with me. am i the one not capable of committing myself into a serious relationship? am i doomed to fail? can somebody tells me the reason why i am always being left by someone i loved? can somebody tell me or teach me to let go? it’s difficult to let go when your left hanging with lots of question and no answers can be found. but we have to learn to let go ‘coz we can’t move on without letting the past go. life is short we have to lived the most out of it and there is God whom we can turn to when we’re feeling down and left by the person whom we trust and loved. like God, He knows the art of letting go. He let His only Son to die & suffer because of our sins and felt the pain of losing the One He truly loved. ‘coz if He don’t where are we now? for now my only refuge in times of feeling down is the Lord. for i strongly believed in Him i can find the answers to all my questions i’ve been hiding inside, and through Him i can find true peace and happiness and let go all the pains & grudges that i’ve been keeping inside. and i prayed that He will never let me go & loose hold of Him again……
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart is in your dreams
No request is to extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
As sweet fullfillment of their secret drowns
Like a boat out of the blue
Fate steps in and see’s you through
Moma when you wished upon a star
Your dreams come true
(instrumental break)
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
As sweet fullfillment of their secret drowns
Like a boat out of the blue
Fate steps in and see’s you through
Baby when you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
When you wished upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Your dreams come true
this is one of the disney’s song that really made an impact to me. we always thought that wishes are for little children only. each one of us is a child within. when we dont like what others did to us we have tantrums, when we are hurt we cry. when we are happy we laugh. like a child, each one of us have thier own simple wish. thatsimple wish, maybe our wish when we are still a kid unfullfield and we kept it till we grows old. no request is too extreme when you wish as dreamers do. most of all have faith with the MASTER that someday all your wishes will come true.
today i am feeling sad because today is the day that we have to let bokbok & poknat go. they are the crossbreed cats of ours children of sabrina which is a himalyan cat. she’s been with us for 2 years and last may she gave birth to 5 kittens and unfortunately the 3 died and bokbok & poknat survived. even though they are not purely himalayan cat i loved this kittens but we really have to let go (sniff,sniff) i’ll miss the way this two noughty kittens plays around my feet, everery morning breakfast with them (coz they really love pandisal), the early morning picking of their mess (pupo & wewe) oh well ill keep that memories forever. =)
21 years ago ninoy aqino international airport (naia)……….
behind the bars while i was crying following her every move from the entrance of the terminal upto the luggae to the immigration officer. i can’t forget that day. because that very same day i lost my mama physically. i also remember everytime she call us, she always tell me & my siblings how much she loves us & we are the reason why she went to italy to work. as a child we don’t have the right to say what we feel if we like that kind of situation, or what we feel at that moment. i took all the things without asking what will happpen next. as the year goes by and i reach the age of puberty i never had a chance to share with her the fear of having your first period. i remember when i got my first period she’s not here my whole family is their to teach me what will i do and they all do to me the old traditional way of menstration, and i remember its my papa who bought my sanitary napkin. sad but its true. i had crushes and puppy love but i can’t tell her coz she’s not he. i had failed relationships i can’t cry to my grand mother coz she don’t like the guy. then again i found new love and again hurt still not there to give me advice. but its a good thing now she is trying to patch up the lost times. lately we have schedule of chat every thursday 8 pm and hoping that the Lord will give me the chance to be with her again hopefully next year so we could cope up with the lost times that we should be spend together as mother and daughter
my bestfriends wedding hmmmm sounds like a bigscreen movie hehehehehehehe. for those of you out there who doesn’t know the story ill share with you the story then you can say that the story of “my bestfriends wedding” is same with the movie my bestfriends wedding of julia roberts.
Julianne Potter (Julia Roberts) is a successful and independent food critic. Her closest friend is George (Rupert Everett), who happens to be gay. Over dinner with George, she reminisces about another relationship in her past: her brief romance and long-term friendship with Michael ONeal (Dermot Mulroney), a freelance sports writer. Jules and Michael were such good friends, they made a half-serious promise to each other that if neither found a mate before they turned 28, they would marry each other. Soon afterward, Jules receives a call from Michael, who tells her he has met that special someone — Kim Wallace (Cameron Diaz), the daughter of a billionaire baseball team owner. Michael is madly in love with Kim, but asks his “best friend” to visit him in Chicago to lend him support. Jules is shocked to hear this news, and suddenly becomes desperate to win Michael for herself. She travels to Chicago, meets Kim, and realizes that this girl really is perfect, not just to Michael. Nevertheless, she embarks on a campaign to turn Michael and Kim against each other. George joins her, and attempts to help her face the truth about what will make her feel good for the immediate moment and in the long term. As the wedding date approaches, Jules becomes more desperate, but her attempts fail. However, just before the wedding, Michael gets a message that throws his relationship with Kim seriously into doubt…and gives Jules her chance to share her true feelings with Michael.
ok here’s my version of “my bestfriends wedding”, i am not julian potter here nor kim wallace and definitely not michael oneal some sort of george.my bestfriend’s story is some how similar with the movie, she is kim wallace(ewww hehehehehe) her fiance is michael (uboubo) the other girl is julian potter(hwaaak) oh well maybe i am george here but not the gay & not a friend to jules. i am kim’s friend hehehehehehe.
maybe you will not believe if i told you guys that we’ve been friends since we’re wearing diapers. we share secrets even the darkest secrets. sometimes we have same thoughts & we even share same room, same socks hehehehehehe the neon socks rememeber? ok here it goes.
kim’s so in love with michael even michael have a past with jules. kim accepted michael whole-heartedly coz she loves him so much. michael have a child(?) with jules. jules uses this kid to hold michael back that cauases kimmy to be paranoid and abnormal. i am an accountant by a profession but when kim’s anxiety attacks i became a psychiatrist to her. i’ve heard a lot and finally soon they will tie thier knots and here comes jules. right now we don’t know what’s her movie but for sure i will not let her evil plans succeed. even i am wearing the most daring gown and the highest high hilled shoes ill kick her big ass hehehehehehehe
all i want for my bes is to be happy and someday she’ll grows old with the man she loved for the rest of her life. congratulations and best wishes to you my friend. i’ll always be your george, your psychiatrist , confidante,and your shoulder to cry on.
this song really touch my heart everytime i hear this song i can’t stop my self from crying. but as a dear friend said i need to love & let go. i need to learn to love & trust others, the way i loved & trust nanay. i must start giving others the chance to show how much they loved & cared for me.
